Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Come Walk With Me

As an adult, the cruelty of childish pranks never ceases to amaze me.  I have to admit I played my share of pranks early on because I was fortunate enough to find a kindred spirit and partner in crime living next door to me when I was a preschooler.  Where some people might have to really beat the bushes to find a suitable counterpart, I grew up having one a stone’s throw away. Lucky me! From an early age my friend and I would terrorize the neighborhood with our creative naughtiness. Margo and I looked liked we could have been dubbed the original "Odd Couple" not because our behavior was at opposite ends of the spectrum, but because she was short and blonde and I was tall and brunette in comparison.

One of our favorite things to do was to give other neighborhood kids wanting to be considered part of our very elite group a proper hazing before befriending them.  We would blindfold the lucky candidate and then walk the person through the endless mountains of dog feces left by her grandfather’s dog.  The breed was what we called a "Heidi dog" because neither of us could pronounce "Weimaraner".   The dog was a  prolific shitter of legendary status.  I’m sorry, but this trait is most likely listed on the AKC’s description of the dog as a caution to potential buyers... smooth, silky coat, loyal, good with children and a prolific shitter! 
  
Neighborhood mothers, including our own hated our pranks especially the stroll through poop we took their children on.  The pungent aroma could never be completely removed from their shoes unless thrown in the washing machine and hung out to dry on the clothesline, but not all play shoes of that era were made to be washed, so they always had a slight "earthy"scent after that.  We discussed making everyone take their shoes off before entering her back yard, but for some reason we thought it was a better idea for them to keep their shoes on their feet.

A few years ago, I talked to Margo's mother.  She laughed when she started recounting what she remembered most about our antics.  My lawn always had an abundance of dandelions growing on it between cuttings, so one day Margo and I decided to picked all the dandelions to change the color of Margo's white porch.  When her mother came out to see what we were up to she had a fit.  We had stained the white porch bright yellow as far up as we could reach by rubbing the dandelions on it.  We thought it looked good, but her mother didn't seem to have the same appreciation for our paint job.  She brought us two buckets of hot, soapy water and made us wash the porch until it was white again. 

Our reign of terror permanently ended when her family moved when we were in the 3rd grade. Looking back on it, I could in all likelihood have seen us going on to legendary status of our own being the first Women’s Tag team from Bangor, Maine or being the masterminds behind Spencer's stores where gag gifts are sold.

10 comments:

  1. Mischief is such an important part of growing up. I bet you and Margo learned many lessons by it that you could gain in no other way. Delightful account!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, we learned never to let someone blindfold us! LOL

      Delete
  2. Hahaha, that is too funny! Sounds like such great memories...and your poor mother! LOL
    I can just see what the front porch must have looked like...ROFL!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My mother definitely had her hands full and the truly funny part was Margo and I thought we were doing something good....finally. You can imagine how surprised we were that her mother didn't like it.

      Delete
  3. I can just picture you and Margo painting her porch yellow....Wish I could of joined in....:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Little did anyone know I was just warming up! I often wonder how Margo's life turned out.

      Delete
  4. Naughty girls.
    Great account of the naughty behavior.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm naughty, but nice! It always confuses Santa Claus.

      Delete
  5. I'm having a dog poop issue now with my neighbors dog. Care to help out?
    We loved going into Spencers at the mall when I was younger. I havent been in one in a while but a friend went there for some Over the hill gifts. He said he felt like he needed a bath when he came out.

    ReplyDelete